Not a Crush
by QueenTakhsis
Summary: After Monty fires Smithers, the latter must try and survive without the love of his life.  Sad/depressing fic just to warn you.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Simpsons nor any of the characters and I do not make any profit from these writings.

Pairings: Waylon/Burns (Onesided on Waylon's side)

Warnings: Angst, very sad, drunkenness, oneshot, complete

Summary: After Monty fires Smithers, the latter must try and survive without the love of his life. Sad/depressing fic just to warn you.

**Important A.N.**- Just so people know, the paragraphs in italics are a poem I wrote about something that happened to me quite a few years back and I **do not** wish anyone to use **any** of that elsewhere. I also wrote from my heart, meaning I used my own experience to write most of this story, it hits close to my heart, so **I will not** appreciate flames about this story at all! This is going to be sad and probably depressing, so don't read if you don't like those kinds of things. I felt like it fit Smithers quite well, so I decided to make a fic about it.

This takes place in Smithers' POV. The poem is connected to the story, so make sure to read it as well.

Not a Crush

_I know it's not a crush, it hurts too much to be._

_I'm in so much pain, and no one to soothe it._

_There's a gapping hole in my chest, but there's no blood._

_I feel so hopeless without you._

_You filled my life with joy, now there's only emptiness._

I lay on my couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. There were bottles of empty beer littering the floor. "I…can't believe he fired me…" I muttered, feeling the tears slide down my cheeks once more. I had thought I had cried all the tears in me, yet still more kept coming. I had never really thought of what I would do…if Mr. Burns wasn't in my life, and now I knew I had no idea _what_ to do. My entire life had revolved around the other man, and now that he wasn't in it, what was I supposed to do?

_Nobody knows the hurt I feel when you are not here,_

_Why does it hurt so much? Why did I fall for you?_

_I can't forget you, no matter what you said,_

_I will always love you, even if you never did or could._

_If I met you in a different life, would you love me at all?_

"I know I told you I loved you, but I never would have guessed you would fire me." I said to the empty room, my hand gripping the half-empty bottle. "I think it would hurt less if you had said you hated me…but you said you still wanted to be friends. But how could I be 'just friends' with you after saying that I loved you. It would just hurt me more!"

_I miss you so much it feels like my heart is empty._

_Will I be able to love anyone else?_

_When will the pain go away?_

_Why'd I have to fall for someone I can't be with?_

"I would take back these feelings if I could. But there is no denying that I will always love you, even though it hurts so much for me to feel that way. I can't help it, it's impossible to choose who you fall in love with. I feel…so empty inside." I muttered as I slowly pushed myself into a sitting position. I knew I felt this way because I had left my heart with you. And I didn't leave just a part of it, but the whole thing. That's why I felt so empty inside.

_Even though I knew what would happen,_

_I told you how I felt and set myself up for the inevitable heartbreak_

_Why do people do that?_

_Couldn't I just let it go?_

"If…I just had left it alone! I could have pushed my heartache away, if only it meant I could be near you! Even if it hurt more to be close to you, knowing I could never have you. I just want to be near you again!" I sobbed, dropping my face into my hands as the sadness threatened to overwhelm me.

_It hurts so bad, I don't know how it could hurt more._

_I miss you even more now that I don't see you everyday,_

_That's how I know this isn't just a crush._

_It's love that will never be reciprocated by you, my one and only love!_

"I feel so much pain, but what hurts the most is that you will _never_ love me the same as I love you." I found myself sobbing noisily into my hands, deep wracking sobs that echoed through my empty apartment. "I…will never stop loving you, Monty. You are the first person I truly loved, and a love like that will be imprinted on my entire being for the rest of my life. There is no one who could ever fill that void in my heart…"

The End.

Sorry about the depressing fic! I just felt the need to write one about Waylon/Monty. Let me know what you think of it though. And like I said before, _please_ no flames!


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